It Would Be Easy

It would be so easy.

There are so many ways I could end it; so few reasons why I shouldn’t. Who would miss me anyway?

There’s my razor, within easy reach. How close I’ve come before, so many times. Sitting on my dresser is a brand new bottle of Tylenol close at hand for my constant headaches. I could swallow them all and end the headaches forever. How tempting the thought.

It may be the easy way out, but lately I see no reason to keep trying. It’s not like anyone cares anyway. My family doesn’t notice when I’m around. They don’t care what I say or do. My friends have all deserted me for drugs and sex. I’m worthless. Maybe God will have a place for me in Heaven, or send me straight to Hell. What have I done to deserve Heaven anyway?

I’ve turned my back on the world, as the world has to me.

As I reach for the Tylenol, you cross my mind. The one person who hasn’t turned their back on me or broken my heart. You’re the one who encourages me to keep on, even if no one else will notice. You always notice, though. You tell me that I make you proud. I make someone proud. How disappointed would you be if you saw me now?

I set the bottle down and lay on my back on my bed. So many times I’ve come close, and each time I didn’t because of you. You saved me. Again.

It would be so easy.

But I can’t do that to you.